Two months later

16 Jan

As usual, no major changes, just slow and steady deterioration.

We are well into the swing of the Carer coming in the morning to help with wash/bath and dressing.  It has definitely been a help although I have had a few issues about timekeeping.  We have a variety of different Carers who are all wonderful, however they frequently come very late, very early or on occasion, not at all.  This is obviously the fault of their office and I have complained many times about them changing my usual times, probably to fit in with their schedule rather than mine!   I know it may seem I am being picky but I like to have Mum out of bed a little while before the Carer arrives or she becomes really cross or upset and it’s difficult to do this if I don’t have a definite time (within 10 mins either way of course).  On the other hand if I get her up too soon, it’s just as bad!  However on the whole, it’s a great help.

I may be tempted to ask for help at night in the future as getting Mum ready for bed continues to be a battle.  As soon as we’ve got her clothes off, she tries to put them on again, then gets angry with me for stopping her.

The communication problems continue.  Sometimes she can talk fairly well but at other times she talks quite fluently but using made-up words.  I looked this up the other day…’s called verbigeration!  There’s a name for everything!  When she comes home from the Day Centre she gets what we call ‘verbal diarrhoea.  She talks incessantly, seemingly about things that have happened to her that day, and they generally make no sense whatsoever.  Much of the time she talks with her eyes closed as though she is having a private conversation with herself.

The third day at the Day Centre has helped me have more free time.  There was just one week when Mum seemed to realise.  She was adamant she didn’t go two days in a row but didn’t argue for too long.  She still doesn’t like it which is odd as most other people who go seem to be very happy there.  However, at least she doesn’t complain as much as she used to;  she just accepts that it’s what she does.

I read alot about dementia and Altzheimer’s on-line and am never sure if it is a good idea.  I’ve been checking out the various stages of the illness to find out roughly where Mum is – alarming!

We have another check-up at the Memory Clinic next month but not sure how that will help at this stage.  I am also going on holiday next month while Mum goes into respite care.  I know that she is going to hate the idea of it and I am dreading telling her but I console myself with the fact that she is going into a lovely Unit where I know she will be well looked after.


Posted by on January 16, 2013 in Diary


4 responses to “Two months later

  1. kimjoy24

    January 17, 2013 at 3:48 pm

    Taking time for a respite is so important as a caregiver. I’m glad you will be getting a temporary break.

    I understand what you mean about the Carers coming at inconvenient times. When Home Health Nurses were coming to see my mother, they would call just 1/2 hour or an hour before they were headed over. Sometimes my mother was barely out of bed, and she is pretty adamant about having her cup of coffee and putting on her makeup in the mornings! The caregivers would get a bit frustrated with me as I was trying to work out a time that Mom and the caregivers could agree upon. I know they are busy and can’t cater to much to one family’s whims but Mom would take out her frustration on me if the nurses visited at a time she wasn’t pleased with.

    • Beverley Johnson

      January 17, 2013 at 9:23 pm

      Exactly……it’s always us who take the flak!

  2. Abbie

    October 18, 2015 at 9:29 pm

    I am a community carer myself and I can assure you it is the office! it is so frustrating as we have to go by the times we are given – with no driving times but are still expected to spend the whole allotted time at a clients house as well as getting to every body on time!
    I hope your experiences with the carers have gotten better.

    • beverleyajohnson

      October 21, 2015 at 10:06 am

      I do understand how difficult it is, Abbie. Unfortunately I was only seeing it from my point of view and the impact it would have on Mum when things didn’t go according to plan. I recall a day when the Carer didn’t turn up at all, the reason being (as we found out much later!) that her previous client was poorly and extremely distressed. As you say these are also instances when the office staff liaison lets down the whole system.
      Sadly, Mum is now in a Rest Home so my experience with domiciliary care has ended.


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