All alone

16 Jun

My sister and brother are both on holiday at the same time from today for a week. It couldn’t be helped but it was the only week my sister could manage to get away and my brother had already arranged his holiday.  I took her and my niece to the airport this morning and actually felt a sense of panic begin to overwhelm me.

It’s been a tricky week as my daughter moved into her new flat in Manchester last Saturday and obviously I wanted to help her and get involved but was unable to offer her all the support she needed.  I managed to get a night away on the Saturday when Jean covered for me then went over again on Monday and Thursday for the day but had to be back for the Day Centre closing. It’s not good when you have to choose your mother over your daughter!

Mum’s not been good at all this week.  The crying has turned into actual sobbing at times.  A couple of days ago I had to ring Jean at around 4 pm to come round and help me as Mum was beside herself and was accusing me of feeding her poison.  I think she meant poisonous ideas as opposed to actual poison!!  It upsets me when she does this as I can see it as yet another symptom I am aware may arise.

She has some sort of sense of me changing where we live and changing the basics of her life.  She keeps asking me to put it back to how it used to be.  I only wish I could!

Anyway I am hoping this week goes okay without my usual support network but I can’t say I’m looking forward to it.


Posted by on June 16, 2012 in Diary



2 responses to “All alone

  1. kimjoy24

    June 17, 2012 at 5:44 pm

    Hope it’s an uneventful week. My dad went through phases of paranoia as well. He would refuse to take his medications because he thought the nursing home staff was trying to poison him.

  2. Kristen Hardin

    July 3, 2012 at 6:02 pm

    I haven’t experienced the crying and sobbing, but my Dad would plead and beg, and then just storm off. I’m glad you have someone to call (Jean) for moral support and backup. I’m sorry it’s been a tough week!


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