Day Centre and Hairdresser

31 May

Mum has been attending the Day Centre for nearly a year now and recently increased to two days a week.  She’s never actually said she likes it but lately has told us many times that she really hates it.  She doesn’t like any of the people, the games and activities, or the food!  She seems to know that she has to go but she is becoming increasingly agitated about it.

Last night, when she knew she was going today, she was tearful and anxious all evening.  She has some sort of idea that she won’t know what to do or where to do, as though she’s never been before.  It’s quite distressing to watch her agitation and know there’s nothing you can do to lessen it.

The alternative is cancelling her visits and I’m afraid, selfishly, that isn’t going to happen.  It’s amazing how much I look forward to my 2 days a week to myself, particularly as I am now finding it more and more difficult to leave Mum alone of any length of time.

One example of this is on Tues morning when Denise, the hairdresser, calls in to do Mum’s hair.  I’ve always been able to go out during this time and usually not got home until after Denise has left.  However the last 2 weeks I have come home on Tues and found mum sitting on a dining chair crying.  I couldn’t ever get to the bottom of what was the matter but when I asked her why she wasn’t sitting back in an armchair, she said she didn’t think she was allowed to go over that side of the room and it seemed a bit cheeky.

Having been at home this Tues and speaking to Denise, she thinks that Mum is under the impression she is in a hair salon and is waiting there for me to come and collect her.  That would explain her agitation – that she doesn’t realise she is actually in her flat.  Consequently I’m not going out on a Tues morning any more!


Posted by on May 31, 2012 in Diary



2 responses to “Day Centre and Hairdresser

  1. kimjoy24

    June 1, 2012 at 11:23 pm

    It’s sad yet sweet how she is trying so hard to do the “right” thing in her mind. I found that my Dad became hesitant and child-like as his dementia progressed, and he did not like to be out of my mom’s sight. Of course, Mom needed a break just like you and all caregivers do!

    • beverleyajohnson

      June 2, 2012 at 12:07 pm

      Child-like is exactly right! I feel more and more often as though I have suddenly inherited another young child. The sad thing is that this ‘child’ isn’t going to grow up.


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