Monthly Archives: May 2012

Day Centre and Hairdresser

Mum has been attending the Day Centre for nearly a year now and recently increased to two days a week.  She’s never actually said she likes it but lately has told us many times that she really hates it.  She doesn’t like any of the people, the games and activities, or the food!  She seems to know that she has to go but she is becoming increasingly agitated about it.

Last night, when she knew she was going today, she was tearful and anxious all evening.  She has some sort of idea that she won’t know what to do or where to do, as though she’s never been before.  It’s quite distressing to watch her agitation and know there’s nothing you can do to lessen it.

The alternative is cancelling her visits and I’m afraid, selfishly, that isn’t going to happen.  It’s amazing how much I look forward to my 2 days a week to myself, particularly as I am now finding it more and more difficult to leave Mum alone of any length of time.

One example of this is on Tues morning when Denise, the hairdresser, calls in to do Mum’s hair.  I’ve always been able to go out during this time and usually not got home until after Denise has left.  However the last 2 weeks I have come home on Tues and found mum sitting on a dining chair crying.  I couldn’t ever get to the bottom of what was the matter but when I asked her why she wasn’t sitting back in an armchair, she said she didn’t think she was allowed to go over that side of the room and it seemed a bit cheeky.

Having been at home this Tues and speaking to Denise, she thinks that Mum is under the impression she is in a hair salon and is waiting there for me to come and collect her.  That would explain her agitation – that she doesn’t realise she is actually in her flat.  Consequently I’m not going out on a Tues morning any more!


Posted by on May 31, 2012 in Diary



Back to Reality

Well I’ve had a lovely break in Barcelona but now it’s back to reality with a bang!

Mark and Jean have managed okay but Mum has definitely been confused with me away, I think.  I’m now trying to get her settled back down and into some sort of routine.

I was hoping she may have got the early rising out of her system while I was away but, no such luck.  she was awake and trying to get up at 6 a.m. today!  No change there then!


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Posted by on May 29, 2012 in Diary


Another week

Well a week has gone by and Mum is going to Day Centre on a Monday for the second time tomorrow.  It’s as though she’s been going 2 days a week for ages.  That’s not to say she wants to go but she seems resigned to it.  As usual we had a discussion tonight about the bus that comes to collect her.  She was convinced it was coming this evening and she needed to get ready.  When I argued the point, she asked me why I always thought I was right?  I told her it was because my brain was still working to which she replied “You’ve got a point there”!

It’s been a strange week.

After being lulled into a false state of security by quite a few undisturbed nights, Mum is now in the habit of waking up really early and wanting to get up.  It’s been as early as 5 a.m. one morning.  I try to get her to go back to bed but she then gets up every 10 minutes to see if I am up yet.  In the end I just let her get up then she falls asleep in her chair.  However the act of getting washed and dressed is so noisy in a small flat, it is enough to stop me sleeping on.

Not sure if I’ve mentioned this before but she’s also developed an odd fascination with door jambs.  Weird you might say, but to be honest – not if you lived here!  She has problems sometimes opening and shutting doors and she will call me and tell me the edge of the door won’t move when she’s actually trying to push the door jamb.

I have also lost an elderly member of my extended family to cancer this week.  It was expected but sad nonetheless.  Cancer or dementia?  Is it worse to lose your physical health or mental health.  I guess there is no answer.  Either is pretty dreadful!

Now I’ve got a long weekend in Barcelona with my daughter to look forward to.  We’re going on Wednesday and coming home on Monday.  Mark and Jean are taking turns with the nights and at the weekend and I’ve got Mum in the Day Centre for an extra day on Friday while they are at work.  Let’s hope all goes smoothly!


Posted by on May 20, 2012 in Diary


Day Centre

Well Mum had her first visit to the Day Centre on a Monday!   She was nervous that it hadn’t been arranged and no-one would know why she was there but I tried to reassure her that she was expected and when the bus arrived with the same Carer as usual it seemed to put her mind at rest a bit.

I enjoyed a lovely day out with my daughter.  Two free days a week now – bliss!

When Mum came home, she said she had had an awful day.  She hadn’t spoken to anyone all day and there was no-one there she knew.  She then went on to tell me about the lady she sees every week who is really snooty.  Well she decided to talk to her and she was really nice after all!!

My daughter was going back to London this evening and I had to run her to Runcorn station – about half an hour away.  I told Mum I would be about an hour but she became upset about being left and asked if she could come with us.  Don’t know why I’ve never thought about it before –  so we took Mum on a road trip to Runcorn and back!

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Posted by on May 14, 2012 in Diary



Day Out

Today my brother, Mark, picked Mum up at 1pm then didn’t bring her home until 8 pm which gave me a lovely break.  He took her out for a run to the coast then took her to his home for tea.

Jean and I were at the flat when he brought her home and she was really upset the moment she came in.  She was crying and asking if we knew where he was taking her.  Poor Mark was upset too as he didn’t really know what had happened.  She had been fine but just suddenly got upset on the way home.  We never really got to the bottom of it but suspect that she thought he was taking her somewhere else and not bringing her home.

She did calm down eventually but it took a while.



Posted by on May 12, 2012 in Diary


Caught out again

I had managed to vaguely broach the subject of going to the Day Centre for a second day recently but hadn’t yet told Mum she was going after this weekend on the Monday.  I was still working up to it!  Then while I was out the Social Worker rang to confirm that it was all arranged and inadvertently used the landline and spoke to Mum.  She then rang me on my mobile and said what had happened and that Mum seemed OK about going a second day.

That was not quite how Mum felt.  She wasn’t very happy at all but I used the arguments that I was increasingly worried about her safety when I wasn’t around and also that it would do her good to mix with her contemporaries more often.  We didn’t talk about it any more so I hope it will work out OK on Monday!

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Posted by on May 11, 2012 in Diary


TV Traumas

Following on from my last post, Mum is having more and more episodes  where she gets upset about things she’s watching on TV.  Initially I knew which programmes triggered this and so I could make sure she wasn’t watching them.  However the most innocuous programmes are now affected.  She thought she was in the village of Emmerdale recently.  This time it was the Jeremy Kyle show which has always been one of her favourites.  I was ironing in the kitchen when she suddenly appeared at the door sobbing.  It turned out she thought she was behind the scenes of the show with all the awful guests screaming and shouting at each other (and her).  She couldn’t understand why anyone would be so nasty to her!

I eventually calmed her down but while doing this, I patted her hand and she said she had realised what that was.  My sister does it to her too – its some sort of secret signal.  Conspiracy theory?

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Posted by on May 10, 2012 in Diary


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