Mum is becoming more and more anxious when I go out at night. Every time I mention going out you can see her visibly stress out. Last night she asked me why I feel I have to go out. My brother, Mark, was there and he answered Mum, “Because she has a life, Mum.” At that she started crying. It’s involuntary emotional blackmail.
It’s not as though I go out very often in the evening, and Jean has always popped in to make sure Mum’s okay but lately, if I’m out, Mum expects Jean to stay until I get in. I’ve already found myself being set a curfew of 10 pm which she has been all right with up until now. I can live with that and on the odd occasion I do have to stay out later, Jean will stay until I get home or sometimes she will stay for the night.
I have introduced the idea of finding a private Care Agency who will supply a ‘sitter’ while I’m out but Mum says she’d rather put up with it than have a stranger there. I will have to investigate and have to try to find someone Mum likes.
Affter Mum went walkabouts last week, I telephoned Social Services to ask for more help and advice. We had already been re-referred to them after Mum’s fall, without any response other than a call to say that they had the referral and would be in touch. I spoke to someone in the Access Team who just takes a message but she said she’d marked it as Urgent. That was 10 days ago.
I telephoned again this morning and was put through to the Team in our local area. Again I was told that a member of the Duty Team would call me back. I will keep calling! I am going to suggest perhaps another day at the Day Centre. Also it was mentioned a while ago by someone from the Carers’ Association who came to see me, that I would be eligible for vouchers for Respite and for occasional visits by Carers when I’m out. This could be very helpful