Mum had odd socks on this morning so I said I’d go and find her some. We had a few family members at the flat and she told them all I’d gone to the bedroom to find better sex! Fat chance!
It is a bit of a family tradition to go to the local pub on Xmas Eve. When we told her we were going, she said she didn’t want us to. She hates being left alone. So my sister said “ Why don’t you come with us?”
I said, “Don’t ask her, she’d die if she came”, meaning it’s always so crowded and noisy.
To which she replied, “So why would you go to such a silly place where you could die?”
Later in the evening, we were watching Keith Lemon in Celebrity Juice Xmas Special. Mum remarked that he is a poisonous little man who should be taken off the air.
Apologies to Keith Lemon. He probably doesn’t expect his audience to include 85 year olds!